I know, we've had this talk before. But, this one will be different, I promise. You see, in this installment, I admit that I'm a damn idiot and my sister is, once again, one of my saving graces. I know I may not rely on her often or seek her guidance as much as I probably should, but she's just...a rock. She's solid and strong and she thinks before she leaps. When dealing with my own uterus I was not able to think before I leaped. Thankfully, my sister was able to snatch my crazy ass out of the air and drag my butt back down to earth before I did something monumentally stupid...
...like have a serious surgery before really looking into it.
Firstly, let's talk about how often a woman's baby basket actually falls out of her hoo-ha. According to the Journal of the American Medical Association: 23.7% (95% CI, 21.2%-26.2%) of women had symptoms of at least 1 pelvic floor disorder (prolapse). So, nearly one in four women are sitting there thinking "Hmm, somethin' don't feel right down there." And I'm one of them. I've actually been asked how I knew I had an issue. Well, not to put too fine a point on it: you just know. Folks, I know my vagina, and I know when something is not right in my vagina. So, how do people normally fix this issue?
Ignore it
Most women apparently never show signs or symptoms of a prolapse. And some who do decide they don't really mind and just live with it. Apparently women can walk around with their vaginas hanging out of their bodies down to their knees and they'll be just fine. Personally, I don't think I could handle that. But that's just me.
The Pessary
This thing would be inserted into the vagina to hold up the uterus. It can either be surgically inserted, meaning it's permanent and will need to be professionally cleaned at regular intervals, or it can be manually inserted which means it could be removed regularly for cleaning. Common side effects: irritation, abrasion, ulceration of vaginal tissue, infection, and foul odor. Sign me up, bud.
The Transvaginal Mesh (TVM)
Warning: DO NOT GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH THIS. YOU WILL REGRET IT.
This wonderful material can be surgically implanted into the vaginal walls to help support the uterus and keep that baby basket in place. The risks and side effects include:
Kegels
You will note there is no image for this. You can search for it yourself. This is a little muscle exercise that you can do anywhere, any time. It's basically just clenching your vagina for a few seconds and then relaxing it. It feels weird and I don't know if it'll do anything, but you can bet yer butt I'm doin' them right now!
...don't try to visualize that. It will give you nightmares.
Hysterectomy
This should always be the last resort and yet my doctor mentioned it first. Things that make you go "Hmm". Why would he recommend this first and not anything else? Maybe in his experience he has found that these alternative therapies really don't work or have more side effects or risks than benefits. But still, he should have discussed them with me. Hell, even Dr. Oz says this is the number one surgery women don't need. I'm a little perturbed that this wasn't really discussed with me. It took my sister slapping me upside the head to realize that I should not go into this so damn blindly. I bought the line my doctor gave me when I should have been looking at the fine print. Maybe it was because it was one way for me to come to terms with the idea that I can't have more kids. Maybe it was the fantasy of not having any more periods (joy!). Maybe it was finality of the situation and the way it was presented. In any event, I was not a good patient. I *did* ask all the right questions, I thought:
...like have a serious surgery before really looking into it.
Firstly, let's talk about how often a woman's baby basket actually falls out of her hoo-ha. According to the Journal of the American Medical Association: 23.7% (95% CI, 21.2%-26.2%) of women had symptoms of at least 1 pelvic floor disorder (prolapse). So, nearly one in four women are sitting there thinking "Hmm, somethin' don't feel right down there." And I'm one of them. I've actually been asked how I knew I had an issue. Well, not to put too fine a point on it: you just know. Folks, I know my vagina, and I know when something is not right in my vagina. So, how do people normally fix this issue?
Ignore it
Most women apparently never show signs or symptoms of a prolapse. And some who do decide they don't really mind and just live with it. Apparently women can walk around with their vaginas hanging out of their bodies down to their knees and they'll be just fine. Personally, I don't think I could handle that. But that's just me.
The Pessary
This thing would be inserted into the vagina to hold up the uterus. It can either be surgically inserted, meaning it's permanent and will need to be professionally cleaned at regular intervals, or it can be manually inserted which means it could be removed regularly for cleaning. Common side effects: irritation, abrasion, ulceration of vaginal tissue, infection, and foul odor. Sign me up, bud.
The Transvaginal Mesh (TVM)
Warning: DO NOT GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH THIS. YOU WILL REGRET IT.
This wonderful material can be surgically implanted into the vaginal walls to help support the uterus and keep that baby basket in place. The risks and side effects include:
- Punctures or lacerations or injury to vessels, nerves, bladder, urethra, or bowel may occur during instrument passage and may require surgical repair.
- Improper placement of the TVT device may result in incomplete or no relief from urinary incontinence or may cause urinary tract obstruction.
- Transitory local irritation at the wound site and a transitory foreign body response may occur. This could result in extrusion, erosion, fistula formation or inflammation.
Kegels
You will note there is no image for this. You can search for it yourself. This is a little muscle exercise that you can do anywhere, any time. It's basically just clenching your vagina for a few seconds and then relaxing it. It feels weird and I don't know if it'll do anything, but you can bet yer butt I'm doin' them right now!
...don't try to visualize that. It will give you nightmares.
Hysterectomy
This should always be the last resort and yet my doctor mentioned it first. Things that make you go "Hmm". Why would he recommend this first and not anything else? Maybe in his experience he has found that these alternative therapies really don't work or have more side effects or risks than benefits. But still, he should have discussed them with me. Hell, even Dr. Oz says this is the number one surgery women don't need. I'm a little perturbed that this wasn't really discussed with me. It took my sister slapping me upside the head to realize that I should not go into this so damn blindly. I bought the line my doctor gave me when I should have been looking at the fine print. Maybe it was because it was one way for me to come to terms with the idea that I can't have more kids. Maybe it was the fantasy of not having any more periods (joy!). Maybe it was finality of the situation and the way it was presented. In any event, I was not a good patient. I *did* ask all the right questions, I thought:
- What happens if we do nothing?
- How soon do I have to do this?
- What are the risks and complications from surgery?
- What is the healing time?
- What are the infection risks?
- Inpatient or outpatient?
- Length of hospital stay?
- Will I get to keep my ovaries?
- Will this impact my ability to nurse my son (that's another post for another day, folks)?
- Will this impact my sex life?
- Are there any other options?
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